– have a small core of online activities which align with your values, then happily miss out on everything else. Something having a possible benefit is not enough reason to use it.
## Principles for how this works:
– Clutter is costly
– Henry David Thoreaus theory of economics – the cost of the thing is the amount of time which must be exchanged for the thing.
– Optimization is important
– the law of diminishing returns
– for news, set the interesting articles as read later for review later in the week.
– Intentionality is satisfying
– The Amish Hacking Philosophy – a very principled use for technology, focusing on maximizing positives and minimizing negatives. Very local Focused. Intention trumps convenience.
# Digital Declutter – to rapidly switch to a digital minimalist lifestyle
## 1. Take a 30 day/One Month break from tech
Define which techs you are going to break from. Websites, apps, maybe games, video Entertainment. Keep only techs needed to keep relationships and professional work. Restrictions can be used to limit overuse of neccessary apps when bans would be harmful.
The 30 day break helps break. Addictive habits before setting new ones.
## 2. During which you explore/reengage with other satisfying activities and hobbies
Spend time in solitude
1. Solitude – a subjective state in which your mind is free from input from other minds.
2. Just as important as social activity, need both.
3. Solitude deprivation – a state of spending 0 time in solitude.
4. Spend time away from your phone for extended periods of time each day.
5. Take long walks/Hikes.
6. Write letters to yourself.
2. Reclaim non textual Face to Face Conversation.
1. Shift texting into consolidated sessions at pre-specified times.
2. Set up Conversation Office Hours.
3. Reclaim Leisure
1. Prioritize demanding activity over passive consumption
1. Work on projects/virtuous Hobbies
2. Active leisure
1. How To Live on 14 hours a day
2. The Bennett Principle – the mind doesn’t need rest, just change.
2. Craft – any activity where skill is used to produce something valuable.
1. Prioritize analog over digital
2. Fix or build something every week
3. Social, Structured activities
1. Social workout
2. Analog in person TableTop Games
3. Sports leagues
4. Volunteering
5. Group projects
4. Use tech to support high quality leasure, not Mindlessly replace it.
1. Mouse book – a little book to replace phone.
2. Schedule low quality techs for limited times. Recs 20-40 min per week
5. Join a group that brings people together for useful Ends.
1. The Junto – Benjamin Franklin’s self Improvement society.
6. Leisure Plans
1. Seasonal – objectives and habits
2. Weekly – review seasonal and schedule implementations during the week with reminders.
## 3. At the end reintroduce only techs that bring significant value
Don’t just reintroduce everything.only let back in tech that support something you deeply value and is the best way to do so,and then only. Use it in the way most optimal for supporting that value.
Use only the specific services from Social Media that actually helps you. This is a struggle as the apps work Against you.
1. Delete the apps From your phone. Worst traps are mobile Only.
2. Limit general Purpose Devices to Narrower uses.
3. Don’t use social Media as entertainment, news, debate,
Friday 1-20: Starting Getting Things Done by David Allen
Intro Material
Forward – Paraphrasing, “most self help books are whooey and a waste of shelf space, this one is different.” strong claim. Let’s see how it turns out.
Intro – Looks like this copy I have is GTD 2e. The cover material has the Copyright in 2015 so it’s still an 8-year-old book.
Welcome – He has a lot of pertinent quotes from other authors in here in little sidebars. There’s some good stuff in here. Ralph Waldo Emerson, one of my favorite poets makes an appearance. I should reread my collection of his stuff now that I should be able to understand it better.
“As to methods there may be a million and then some, but principles are few. The man who grasps principles can successfully select his own methods. The man who tries methods, ignoring principles, is sure to have trouble”. Reminds me of Franklin Covey’s talk about a principle-focused life from the 7 Habits of Highly Effective People.
Welcome – the quote at the end about not constantly firefighting also reminds me of the 7 habits, specifically the bits about striving to spend as much time as possible in Q2 or the space of Important and not urgent.
Tuesday 1-24: Getting Things Done – Chapter 1
Chapter 1 – A New Practice for a new reality
The stated problem the book is trying to fix – We are stressed and unproductive, feeling like having too much to handle and not enough time to handle it in. Our eyes are bigger than our stomachs. In addition the work advanced “knowledge workers” do tends to be nebulously defined, requires cross team coordination, and often changes without notice. I definitely felt like that at college, probably because I kept filling my time with video games and DnD.
The stated “promise” or thing you will have gotten by applying the books lessons to your life? More time in a state of flow.
The Principle behind the changes that makes to promise possible? Effectively managing ones commitments, especially the “open loop” ones you make with yourself results in less stress and more productivity. To do this, you have to identify them, capture them on a system outside your mind, clarify what it is you have to do to make progress, and keep reminders of them in a regularly reviewed place. And you have to this consistently.
The ancestor of every action is a thought.
Ralph Waldo Emerson
If you have something on your mind It’s because
The intended outcome isn’t clear
The next action step hasn’t been decided
Reminders of the outcome and action isn’t in a system you trust
…you can’t do a project at all! You can only do an Action related to it.
Pg 21
There is no reason to ever have the same thought twice, unless you like having that thought.
pg 24
Work bottom up, from whats in your inbox, not on a big planner.
That was a very dense 26 pages. Overall it seems to make sense to me. When I was in college I once created a checklist of what I needed to do and I did well in that class as long as I was keeping up with the list. At work, I got a lot more efficient and happy once I was able to get all the information onto step-by-step how-to lists and into a central cheatsheet with the exceptions to the standard rules.
Friday 1-27: Getting Things Done – Chapter 2-4
Ch 2 – Getting Control of Your Life: The 5 Steps of Mastering Workflow
The general steps one takes
capture what has our attention
every open loop must be in your capture system and out of your head
have as few capture buckets as possible
empty them regularly.
Clarify what each item means and what to do about it
Items can be:
Trash: non- actionable and no longer needed
For Incubation: non-actionable and might be needed later
Reference: Non-Actionable but handy for reference later
A Project Action: Something that needs to be done relating to an “open loop”
Do It Now – If it takes less than two minutes
Delegate it – If it’ll take more than 2 minutes but it’s better if someone else handles it.
Defer it – If you’re the right person and it’ll take longer than 2 minutes, stick it on your “next actions” list
Organize the results which presents possible options
Items can go Into:
The Trash – for trash
A Someday/Maybe List – for items you might like to get to
A “Tickle” System – reminds you of Incubation items at a later date
Project SPcific Storage/Files – for materials and plans
Calender – for Actions that have to be done at specific times/days. Appointments. To-Do’s do not go on Calender.
A Next Actions List – for “Defer it” next actions. once you hit around 50+ you’ll want different lists for different categories of things. It’s suggested to categorize by location you do these things.
Waiting for list – reminders of what you’re waiting on.
A Reference System – for Reference items. Obsidian?
A Project – Any desired result that can be accomplished within “A Year” and that requires 2+ Action steps.
reflect on the options that presented themselves once we organised
Review Weekly: Your Calender, Your next actions lists
Review occaisionally: Projects, Waiting For, and Someday/Maybe Lists.
engage with the option we chose
3 models:
For choosing actions in the moment “Four Criteria Model”
Context, Time Available, Energy Available, Priority
For Identifying Daily Work “Threefold Model”
Doing Predefined Work
Doing Work as it shows up
Defining your work
For reviewing your work “6 level model”
5: Purpose and Principles – The Big Picture view.
4: Vision – Your projections for 3-5 Years in the future.
3: Goals – What you want to be experiencing in 1-2 Years
2: Area of focus and responsibilities – The roles you fulfill and the obligations you take on
1: Current Actions – all the actions you need to take
Chapter – 3 Getting Projects Creatively Under Way: The 5 Phases of Project Planning
Horizontal focus – assessing multiple projects across an equal level. Vertical focus – examining multiple levels within a single project The natural planning model
defining purpose and principles – why the limits/standards for acceptable means and acceptable outcomes.
outcome visioning – what
brainstorming – how
Capture ideas – mind mapping
Don’t judge challenge evaluate or criticize,
go for quantity not quality
Put analysis and organization in the background.
organizing – who and in what order.
Move from. Informal structure to formal. gantt chart?
Basic steps
Identify the significant pieces
Sort by:
Components
Priorities
Sequences
Detail to the desired degree
identifying next actions – decide for each moving part, decide when to continue planning if needed, clarify whose next steps it is.
When more clarity is needed, shift thinking back up the natural planning scale. If more action move down.
Thus far everything has been common sense and yet it’s oddly gratifying to see it laid out so cleanly and nicely organized. I’ve often heard portions of this stuff individually or on its own but it’s like I’ve been seeing the trees and now I’m being shown the forest.
Monday 2-6: Getting Things Done Ch 4-8
Last week while I was working on Mothership I found some time to make some more progress reading getting things done. I really like this book and can see why it’s so popular. Where 7 Habits of Highly Effective People is very Macro/high minded and philosophical, Getting things done is a more micro focused and practical.
Chapter 4 Getting Started: Setting up time space and tools
Set up a space as your central cockpit of control. Even if you move a lot you’ll want a place for reference material storage. Having a good reference storage system is highly important. He recommends 1 A-Z filing system. Don’t let filing become a personal management system. Purge it once a year There’s a lot here about physical inputs. Some of this might be good but it generally seems less useful for someone like me who’s mostly digital.
Chapter 5 Capturing: Corralling your Stuff
Gather everything that’s out of place in one “In tray”. Supplies reference material, decoration and equipment stays where it is. Out of date material goes into the in-tray. Don’t get into purging and organizing in this process. Start with your desktop, then move into your desk drawers, countertops, inside cabinets, floors walls and shelves, then equipment furniture and fixtures, then finally in your mental RAM. This is not a practice in minimalism. There’s a big list of incompletion triggers that can be a jumping off point for clearing your mind. It’s quite good. Not reproducing here due to length.
Chapter 6: Clarifying: Getting In to Empty
Process the top item first, process one item at a time, never put anything back into In Emergency scanning is not proccessing Lifo vs fifo doesn’t matter as long as it’s all done Deciding not to decide is another decision.
I am rather like a mosquito in a nudist camp; I know what I want to do, but I don’t know where to begin Steven bayne
Trash goes into trash. When in doubt throw it out Incubate items go onto a someday maybe list or tickler file
Action steps are the next physical thing you do. After processing your inbox the last thing is to identify projects you have.
Chapter 7 Organizing: Setting up the Right Buckets
Being organized me is nothing more or less than wear something is matches what it means to you. Basic Categories:
A projects list
Project support material
Calender actions and info
A Waiting for list
Reference material
A someday maybe list Keep these items very distinct. All you really need are lists and folders Organize by context
Deferred actions go on the Calender
ASAP actions are split between:
Calls
At computer
On Mobile
Errands – for while your out of work and home.
At office
At home
Anywhere
Agendas – items to discuss/cover when meeting with people/groups
Read/review possibly a separate list for “fun” Have a separate waiting for list for actions awaiting commitments from others. Don’t toss all documents of one “type” grouped together when they require different Actions. For email have on folder for @acting on, one for @reference, and one for @!waiting for. @action is an extension of your at computer list.
Project reminders – keep a list of them all. Neccessary for weekly review Hidden activities in current activities, higher horizon interests/commitments, current problems/issues/opportunities.
problems are always projects Sort projects by: personal/professional, delegated projects,areas of focus, roles,
Don’t use project support materials for reminding. Keep references separate from your next actions
Any topic that requires more than 50 folders/items should be given its own organizational unit. Don’t use your contact manager as as your next actions list/reminders Things fir you’re someday maybe list
Things to get or build for your home
Hobbies to take up
Skills to learn
Creative expressions to explore
Clothes/accessories to buy
Toys to acquire
Trips to take
Orgs to join
Things to see and do
Current commitments that won’t be getting attention for 3+months
Food
Children
Books to read
Music to listen to
Movies to see
Gift ideas
Web sites to explore
Weekend trips to take
Mic. Ideas
On your Calender flag events, reminders to review projects, defer decision making
Checklist – a recipe of potential. Ingredients and actions for completing projects. The more novel the situation, the more specific the checklist needs to be.
Chapter 8: Keeping it Fresh and Functional
Review Process
look at your Calendar fir the hard commitments
Then your actions list for your current context/relevant agendas
Weekly review – whatever you need to do to clear your head
Get clear
gather up all your loose ends.
collect loose materials
get in to empty
empty your head
Get current
review next action lists. Mark off the completed ones.
review previous and then upcoming calendar items
review waiting for lists
review projects lists
review relevant checklists
Get creative
review someday/maybe lists
Sunday 2-12: Getting Things Done Chapters 9-15
Chapter 9 Engaging: Making the best action choices
“They’re myried ways to give it all up you can ignore the physical world and its realities and trust in the universe. I did that at one point in my own particular way and it was a powerful experience. One I wouldn’t wish on anyone. I tried to check out of my practical connections though I didn’t choose to end my life. I had much to learn about cooperating with the world I had chosen to play in. But surrendering to your inner awareness and its intelligence and advice for the worlds you live in is the higher ground. Trusting yourself and the source of your intelligence is the most elegant version of experiencing freedom and manifesting personal productivity”
4 Criteria Model
Context
Some people have special lists for “brain gone” and “<5 minutes”.
Time available
Energy Available
Priority
Robert Frost – “You have freedom when you are easy in your harness”
3-Fold model for evaluating daily work
Predefined Work
Works as it appears “Busy and Urgent”
Defining your work
6 level model for evaluating your daily work.
Current actions
Current projects
Areas of focus and accountability
1-2 year goals
Long term visions
Life
Everything sits in a hierarchy from level 6 at the top and level 1 at the bottom. “Getting things done, feeling good about it means bring willing to recognize, acknowledge and appropriately engage with all the things in your ecosystem of your consciousness.” Work from the bottom up. Without control of the bottom level, engaging with the top level feels fruitless.
Make sure action lists are complete, including agendas and waiting for items
Finalize your projects list. Should capture all commitments. Can take 10-15 hours
Define your roles and responsibilities. Keep an Areas of Focus list.
Capture what motivators exist currently
What are the longer term goals and objectives in my org what projects need to be in place to fulfill them?
What longer term. Goals and onjectives have I set for myself? What projects need to be in place
What other significant things are happening that could affect my options about what I’m doing? Doc childre “neutral is fertile ground for new possibilities to grow from”
Chapter 10 – Getting Projects Under Control
Projects that necessitate planning include those that still have your attention after you’ve determined their next actions and those for which useful ideas and details show up ad hoc.
Chapter 11 The Power of the Capturing Habit
Things in your “in” tray are agreements you’ve made and accepted with yourself. To not break it:
Don’t make the agreement
Complete the agreement
Renegotiate the agreement
Chapter 12 The Power of the next action decision
The section on why the brightest procrastinate the most really spoke to me. Don’t let next actions morph into lists if tasks or sub projects. I’ve noticed myself doing this as I implemented this system. This is a good chapter
People are always blaming their circumstances for what they are. I don’t believe in circumstances. The people who get on in this world are the people who get up and look for the circumstances they want, and, if they can’t find them, make them.
George Benard Shaw
Chapter 13 The Power of Outcome Focusing
I respect the man who knows distinctly what he wishes. The greater part of all mischief in the world arises from the fact that man did not sufficiently understand their own aims. They have undertaken to build a tower, and spend no more labor on the foundation that will be necessary to erect a hut.
Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
Chapter 14 GTD and Cognitive Science
TLDR: There’s a lot of new science that’s come out to support the effectiveness of GTD’s methods.
Chapter 15 The path of GTD Mastery
3 tiers
Employing fundamentals of managing your workflow
Implementing a more elevated and integrated total life management system
Leveraging skills to create a clear space and get things done for an ever expansive expression and manifestation
aka basic control, using that control to accomplish what you want, then using that control to accomplish more than what you originally intended
Final Thoughts
This is one of the most practical productivity books I’ve read in a while. Gonna need to spend some time implementing this before I tackle another self-help book. I think I’ll go back to Fiction next.
Gene Wolf The final Book of the New Sun, not counting the many sequels like Urth and so forth. Over on the OSR server we’ve been reading through the Book of the New Sun. Unfortunately, I didn’t start recording my thoughts until this book.
It’s been really interesting. Severian, the narrator, and the lead protagonist is a man of contradictions. He constantly says he never lies and has perfect memory (later seems to be a form of perfect recall he has to “turn on”) who forgets things and omits constantly, a rapist who thinks all women are into him, a killer who seems to only ever kill in self-defense or in service of “justice”, a rebel who constantly looks for someone to follow, and a lot more.
The setting is a fascinating far future dying world, but because the author tends to use old words instead of made-up ones the whole thing has a sort of medieval vibe and one could easily mistake the setting for a fantasy one at first read. There’s a lot of very good prose and a lot of blinks and you’ll miss it details. The world unfolds itself slowly over the course of all the books, which can be frustrating if after two books you are still having fundamental questions about the nature of the world, but it does make it satisfying when you get that payoff later.
Ch 2. I think memory Thecla is still conscious as she recognizes she’s been eaten.
Ch 3. The New Sun is another name for the conciliator? So the book of the new sun is in fact the book of the Conciliator.
Ch 3. Healing as a form of reverse time travel is an interesting take. Reminds me of how Orihime’s rejection ability works (From Bleach).
Ch 5. The ascians from the northern continent speak like a cross between a Bible thumper and a Tamarian from Star Trek. Such a great idea for a fantastic culture. Be sure to nick it for my/your/our game. That last quote though sounds like newspeak from 1984.
How shall the state be most vigorous? It shall be most vigorous when it is without conflict. How shall it be without conflict? When it is without disagreement. How shall disagreement be banished? By banishing the four causes of disagreement: lies, foolish talk, boastful talk, and talk which serves only to incite quarrels. How shall the four causes be banished? By speaking only Correct Thought. then shall the state be without disagreement. Being witout disagreement it shall be without conflict. Being without conflict it shall be vigrous, strong and secure
The wounded Ascian – Citadel of the autarch, end of chapter 5.
Ch 7. Gene Wolfe loves his stories within stories, doesn’t he? Now we have a contest of stories. This one feels like a classic nordic revenge plotline. Reminds me of the Saga of Grettir.
Ch 8 – It seems obvious in hindsight that the claw didn’t always use its healing powers. Makes sense that Severian, thick himbo he is, didn’t get that. Makes me feel dumb for not catching that. To be fair it is entirely possible that it was healing the Pelerines. Mysterious religious order and all. I would not have put it past Wolfe to have a religious order whose members are made immortal by a relic of fantasy Jesus. Mental note to add such an order to my games.
Ch 9 – “People tell me I’m a very stupid man” made me lol.
Ch 10- “You’re a materialist, like all ignorant people. But your materialism doesn’t make materialism true. Don’t you know that? In the final summing up, it is spirit and dream, thought and love and act that matter.” Ava speaks truly although the inverse is also true, one’s spiritualism does not make spiritualism true. The quotation reminds me of a passage from Neil Gaimans Sandman.
“Things need not have happened to be true. Tales and dreams are the shadow-truths that will endure when mere facts are dust and ashes, and forgot.”
― Neil Gaiman, The Sandman Vol. 3: Dream Country
Ch 11 – The Ascians tale is interesting because it’s an interpretation of a story based on a recitation of specific passages of, for lack of a better word, scripture. One translation struck me as a bit of a strecth but it fits into the rest of the story.
“How are the hands nourished? By the Blood. How does the blood reach the hands? By the veins. If the veins are closed, the hands rot away” “He left that farm and took to the roads”
Ch 11 – It should be noted that each of the statements is in point of fact scripture and by paying attention to the statements one can understand a bit about the Ascian society. There’s some striking stuff here:
“It is better to be just than to be kind, but only good judges can be just; let those who cannot be just, be kind”
“The Citizen renders to the populace what is due to the populace. What is due to the populace? Everything.”
“Can all petitioners be heard? No, for all cry together. Who, then, shall be heard-is it those who cry loudest? No for all cry loudly. Those who cry longest shall be heard, and justice done to them.”
Ch 12 – Lashings are worse for fat people because the lash cuts deeper?
Ch 12- A man selling himself into slavery of a religious order is interesting. It contrasts with how selective the Pelerines usually are with their proper initiates as evidenced by Ava.
Ch 14- “No doubt many a man who walks about and does his work is dying and many who lie abed all day are healthier than those who bring their food and wash them”
Ch 15. “Distances on the map were in proportion to their difficulty, and turnings were adjusted to suit the dimensions of the paper” has anyone seen or written a map like this? And he departs from the map. When he sees the final destination, attempting a straight shot. Of course he does. And when he does the destination disappears. Stupid GM railroading his players.
Ch 16. The reasoning about the army’s reinforcements reminds me somewhat of the ongoing conversation now about Russia’s recent recruiting tactics in the ongoing Ukrainian conflict. The fact that it so clearly matches what is going on means that either these are very simple truths, or that I, like Severian, am not that bright and there is something deeper going on here. Given that this is a statement made to Severian and not by him, I am inclined to think the former.
Ch. 17 – “…Resolution and plan are better than a sword because a man whets his own edges on them.” pithy. not sure how a man whets his own edges by having a plan. I suppose whetting a sword is a means of preparing for events to come. Not as deep as it seems at first glance yet still insightful.
Ch 23- ” I, however, never suffered more than a sore throat and running nose, forms of sickness that serve only to deceive healthy people into the belief that they know in what disease consists. Malrubius suffered real illness, which is to see death in shadows.” I don’t believe I have ever been sick enough to see death in the shadows. I am yet young and undoubtedly will come to that state sooner or later. Entropy comes for us all. This brings to mind the post “Who by Very Slow Decay”.
Ch 24- Major Spoiler: The Autarch also acts as several lower officials when appropriate. This is a great bit of characterization. It makes me think of the shenanigans Ankh Morporkhs Patrician Vetinari sometimes got up to in the filling of his duties. I like the idea of a savvy ruler who is not afraid to condescend to lower positions to make things happen when appropriate. Also makes me think of Odin and how he’d disguise himself as a traveller in some of the old legends.
Ch 24- She bits about anti-iron and promatter is a fascinating bit of sci-fi magic hand waving. I like the idea of regular matter being “pro” matter. It fits the naming schema well. I like how the explanation of real matter creeping in and causing the anti-matter to react, thereby causing the flier to lose its lifting power over time makes a sort of sense. It’s a brilliant bit of technobabble.
Ch 25 – Throne of Salt points out that the Autarchs legion of pasty lives is mostly composed of regular people, thereby serving as a counterbalance to the natural inevitable aristocracy. Makes me think of this scene from Malcolm in the Middle. Spoilers for the ending of that show.
Ch 30 – Hierodule means holy slave huh. A quick google tells me that’s true but it’s also a type of Tyrannid (Warhammer 40k). Funny, One would think hierodule would be a sororitas or inquisitorial model.
Ch31 – A White hole, I’ve heard of them but never looked into them much. Wikipedia offers a brief overview and the concept is really wild. The whole Big Bang could be said to be a white hole. Note to return to the concept of a White Hole in the future.
Ch 31- “We are Aquastors, beings created and sustained by the power of the imagination and the concentration of thought.” Now there’s a DnD planar creature if i’ve ever seen one. Makes me think of Terry Pratchetts Small Gods.
Ch 31- “because we could not conquer it it was our always” “Everything was a relic, All the World was a relic.” Indeed it is.
Ch 35 – The mandragore would be a wonderful dnd encounter. How does one roleplay a creature reading a players mind?
And now it is finished. So many interesting characters and beats. so much stuff worthy of stealing for your TTRPG. I feel I do not fully understand it but I understood that may be the case when I started it. I am sure with future rereads more will make sense. I am satisfied with what I have read for now. Onwards to the next book.
Throne of Salt also participated in the book club and has posted his thoughts on the whole of the Book of the New Sun here and here.
A little over 2 months ago, prompted by a discussion on the osr discord server, I started and ran a book club for the book The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People (7Habits) by Stephen R Covey. For your consideration are some of the thoughts that were shared in the chats over the last 2 months.
Background
So I personally did not come into this book review blind. When I was a teenager my parents got me “The seven habits of highly effective teens” and while serving a 2-year religious mission in sub-Saharan Africa, I and my fellow missionaries received adapted 7 Habits training courses from our mission president who used to work for Franklin-Covey (Stephen R. Coveys company). I hadn’t, however, read the main book itself. During the discussion that prompted this book club, someone described it as “Beginners guide to Aristotelian Virtue ethics” which seems fair enough. The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People was published in 1989 and thus is a little dated on the references but it points to principles that transcend any particular period.
The Lessons I Learned/Re-Learned
It is not enough to just do well, but we also need to increase our capacity to do well.
Instead of just auto-responding to stimuli, we have the ability to exert our conscience and will to choose how we respond, and in so doing have the ability not just to react to the world but to Act upon it.
Focus one’s efforts on changing what is within our circle of control rather than stressing about things outa our circle of influence. The more we do so we tend to find our circle of control growing.
Leadership is about should, Management is about how. You need both to be successful
Identify your roles in life, establish goals for each of them, Make specific plans for how to achieve each goal, then adapt to whatever daily challenges come up.
To build emotional investments: keep commitments, Attend to the small kindnesses, Seek to understand, maintain one’s personal integrity, apologize sincerely, and don’t attach strings to love.
Either we both benefit or No-deal.
Have a small daily victory by Sweat, Study, Spiritual Renewal, and Service.
Repeatedly learning, committing, and doing leads to a positive upward spiral of growth.
Conversation Points
Covey makes a point of stating a shift he sees in the “self-help” world of literature from Character Ethic to Personality Ethic. Despite the names, these are not systems of ethics and values, but rather a shift from trying to get ahead by improving one’s core self and being a better person to trying to rely on gimmicks meant to present a better image.
For Habit 1/Procativity, doubts were expressed about the ability to be more than just a stimulus-response machine.
There is a distinction in the book between habits that build one’s independence and those that build interdependence. There was a lovely discussion about when one moves from one to the other and the conclusion drawn seems to be that it’s less distinct in reality and that all the habits build upon each other and reinforce each other.
The chapter for Habit 4 reminded me of this lovely game about the evolution of trust. Give it a whirl.
Quotes
It’s not what happens to us, but our response to what happens to us that hurts us. Of course, things can hurt us physically or economically and can cause sorrow. But our character, our basic identity, does not have to be hurt at all. In fact, our most difficult experiences become the crucibles that forge our character and develop the internal powers, the freedom to handle difficult circumstances in the future and to inspire others to do so as well.
Habit 1
Discipline derives from disciple—disciple to a philosophy, disciple to a set of principles, disciple to a set of values, disciple to an overriding purpose, to a superordinate goal or a person who represents that goal…
In other words, if you are an effective manager of yourself, your discipline comes from within; it is a function of your independent will. You are a disciple, a follower, of your own deep values and their source. And you have the will, the integrity, to subordinate your feelings, your impulses, your moods to those values.
Habit 3
You can’t talk your way out of problems you behaved yourself into.
Habit 3
Maturity is the balance between courage and consideration.
Habit 4
Insecure people think that all reality should be amenable to their paradigms. They have a high need to clone others, to mold them over into their own thinking. They don’t realize that the very strength of the relationship is in having another point of view. Sameness is not oneness; uniformity is not unity. Unity, or oneness, is complementariness, not sameness. Sameness is uncreative… and boring. The essence of synergy is to value the differences.
Habit 6
This is the single most powerful investment we can ever make in life—investment in ourselves, in the only instrument we have with which to deal with life and to contribute. We are the instruments of our own performance, and to be effective, we need to recognize the importance of taking time regularly to sharpen the saw…
Habit 7
Change—real change—comes from the inside out. It doesn’t come from hacking at the leaves of attitude and behavior with quick fix personality ethic techniques. It comes from striking at the root—the fabric of our thought, the fundamental, essential paradigms, which give definition to our character and create the lens through which we see the world.